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(586):Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
(586):Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
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(225):
either i have a razorblade lodged in my throat or i've been drinking entirely too much evan williams
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(780):
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
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(570):
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
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(562):
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
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(+44):
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
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(203):
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me