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[personal profile] ks_claw
(586):
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
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[personal profile] ks_claw
(541):
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
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[personal profile] ks_claw


(225):
either i have a razorblade lodged in my throat or i've been drinking entirely too much evan williams
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[personal profile] ks_claw


(780):
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
ks_claw: icon for textsfromrotg community (textsfromrotg)
[personal profile] ks_claw


(978):
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover.
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[personal profile] ks_claw
 

(760):

I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling
ks_claw: icon for textsfromrotg community (textsfromrotg)
[personal profile] ks_claw


(570):
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
ks_claw: icon for textsfromrotg community (textsfromrotg)
[personal profile] ks_claw


(562):
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
ks_claw: icon for textsfromrotg community (textsfromrotg)
[personal profile] ks_claw


(513):
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
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[personal profile] ks_claw


(+44):
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
ks_claw: icon for textsfromrotg community (textsfromrotg)
[personal profile] ks_claw


(302):
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
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[personal profile] ks_claw
 

(203):

It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me

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