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(586):
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
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(541):
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
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(225):
either i have a razorblade lodged in my throat or i've been drinking entirely too much evan williams
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 I was recently asked on tumblr to tag some texts with NSFW for obvious reasons. So just to be on the safe side, I'm gonna do something similar here.

What I’m gonna do, is that I’m going to tag certain posts with the following.

If there’s drunk behavior: drunk - alcohol 

If there’s sex (mentioned) or similar subjects - nsfw - +18 

If it’s something like weed or drugs: drugs - +18

I figure this will be a way so that people who are uncomfortable with those subjects will be able to blacklist it. 

KEEP IN MIND: I’ve run this blog for a long time, so I’ve got quite a few posts to go through, and it will take a bit to get into the habit of actually using those tags when posting. So please don’t hound me, if I miss one or two. I’m only human and can make mistakes.
 

And in the case of here on Dreamwidth, I have a LOT of images  to put (at least close to 2000 texts, oof) so a few things might slip.

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(780):
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
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(978):
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover.
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(760):

I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling
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(570):
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
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(562):
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
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(513):
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
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(+44):
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
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(302):
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
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(203):

It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me

Welcome

Dec. 15th, 2018 10:06 pm
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Welcome everyone, to the new home for Texts From RoTG. I hope you'll all feel comfortable here, and with have patience with me as I take my time to get things set up.

Things will be different here for a start, as for one, posts will not be queued here, so I'll instead see about setting things up so posts get put up in a certain amount on certain days, depending on how things go.

Comments will be moderated, though you are all welcome to react to certain things one way or another, be it just how you're finding this funny, or if something has inspired you to a ficlet. I do however, not tolerate anything rude or people fighting.

Submissions will be welcome too, as always, but how those will be managed will be figured out as well.

But for now, welcome back one and all, to Textsfromrotg.

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Texts from Rise of the Guardians

July 2021

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